


I never knew, I never knew (But it's alright)

by gnsmk



Category: Free!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 03:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2214120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnsmk/pseuds/gnsmk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Whatever you do," Makoto murmurs into the wet strands, "I'll be here for as long as you want me to,  okay Haru?"</p><p>[based around the events of s2e9]</p>
            </blockquote>





	I never knew, I never knew (But it's alright)

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted someone to tell Haruka it was all okay and to give him a hug. I don't know. I'm sorry. Also my tenses are here, there, and everywhere. 
> 
> I've never written for this fandom before, please nag when you find something ooc?
> 
> Title is from Everything Will Be Alright by The Killers, the song actually has very little to do with the contents this fic. But it was in my head by the end of it. So here we are.

Haruka sat on the floor of the shower, knees drawn to his chest as he tried to draw comfort from the light stream of water he'd allowed. It wasn't the same as the bath or the pool. The water was trickling down his back rather than all encompassing, and lingered only in the material of his swimsuit, making him feel heavy rather than weightless. 

He had feigned sleep when Makoto had returned to their room that evening, not wanting the other boy to press about his earlier outburst. He'd ignored his name being called softly, and lay there with his eyes squeezed shut as Makoto rustled, slow, with great care to be quiet, into a change of clothes and bed. He finally allowed his eyes to crack open at the soft sigh of Makoto settling down and stared at the wall until the soft sound of breathing evened out. 

He had hoped that the quiet and familiar sounds of Makoto filling the room would help him sleep, but after several fruitless hours he crawled from the bed and into the bathroom. It was too late at night, or rather, too early in the morning to leave the hotel, and leaving the hotel would also mean leaving the meagre comfort Makoto's presence provided. Instead he changed, turned the shower on just enough that the water was between dripping and all out flowing, and left the door cracked open enough to listen to the quiet movements of the other boy whilst he slept. 

His fingers were starting to wrinkle now. He flexed them out and imagined them twisted and tangled with the tendrils of fear and doubt that had grabbed at the rest of his limbs. Rough against his skin, catching him and dragging him down into the murky depths of an unknown future. He clenches his hand into a fist, trying to snap away at the imaginary restraints, then starts upon hearing his name.

"Haru," Makoto's voice is soft, cracked with sleep, but pitched just right to be heard above the gentle patter of water. 

Haruka stiffens slightly, unsure whether to answer or to stay silent and hope Makoto falls asleep again. Before he can make up his mind, Makoto continues, as if having a one-way conversation with the ceiling or wall. 

"Haru is easy to read sometimes," Makoto is saying. "When he is happy, or hungry, or tired. All the little things are so obvious, I don't know how the others can't see it." There's a soft laugh and Haruka bites his lip. "But the big things are sort of difficult sometimes, huh? The future's pretty big and scary, or at least I find it scary... I don't know what I want to do, but I know I'll be happy if I can stay with Haru. But only if he wants to. If Haru wants something different then that will be okay. If Haru wants to get scouted and swim professionally then that is what he should do, but if he doesn't then that's okay too. If Haru wants to... to be a fisherman! Then that will be okay, or if he wants to be a cook or an artist or even just work in that little shop that sells the ice creams, then that is what he should do. Whatever Haru wants will be okay, just as long as it will make him happy. And no matter what he does me and Nagisa and Rei and even Rin will be there for him. 

"Rin might be a little upset right now, but that's just because he gets so caught up in things. He'll calm down when he realises different people have different dreams. Haru can dream whatever he wants. And if he doesn't want to swim in the relay tomorrow, then that is okay too. Because Nagisa and Rei will understand, Haru's happiness won't let anybody down. It's not the same if anybody forces it, Haru should swim because he wants to swim and not because he feels forced too. He should do what he wants, but right now he should maybe get out of the shower and come back to bed before you catch cold, huh, Haru?"

Haruka jolts at the change of tone. He blinks through the water on his lashes. At some point during Makoto's talk he'd leant back further under the light spray, the water now trickling through his hair and down his face. Of course, why else would his face be damp? 

He gets to his feet, legs stiff from their cramped position, and turns the shower off. He doesn't bother with a towel as he drips out of the bathroom. The bedroom is still dark, Makoto has turned no lights on, but the lamplight from outside filters through the thin curtains and Haruka can see Makoto half sat, waiting patiently with his blankets drawn back expectantly. Haruka falls into the waiting space, wet swimsuit and all, and releases a breath he didn't realise he was holding when strong arms wrap round him.

Makoto pulls him flush, damp skin instantly sticking to the cotton of sleepwear and blankets. Neither seem to notice or mind. Haruka buries his face into the warm shoulder before him, pressing into the crook of soft skin and familiar scent. Makoto, in turn, nuzzles into the damp mop of inky hair, pressing a kiss to it regardless of its state.

"Whatever you do," Makoto murmurs into the wet strands, "I'll be here for as long as you want me to, okay Haru?"

Haruka nods, weariness suddenly overwhelming him as everything else drains out of him. The solid press of Makoto's chest to his, and the arms securely round his back make him feel more safe than the shower ever could, perhaps even more than the bath. Haruka's lips turn up into a small smile, and Makoto continues to murmur reassurances and kisses into his hair whilst fingers play along his spine. Nothing matters at this current time, not the races, not the future, not the steadily dampening sheets beneath them. Nothing matters until morning, and even then everything will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come say 'hi' if you feel like it.](http://gunsmokeandnicotine.tumblr.com/)


End file.
